(Continued from Scene 2 Episode 1or start at the beginning)
INT. SHLEEPITOV NURSING HOME – DAY – FLASHBACK
Flashback/Fantasy sequence in slow motion: Cheesy 80′s power ballad plays. The band bursts through the front doors of the nursing home with their hair blowing as they walk through the bellows of smoke and an ELDERLY AWE-STRUCK CROWD.
They pass a room where PATIENTS are doing geriatric sit-down exercises. All of them are holding beach balls, moving in sync with the 80′s power ballad. We see an aerial view of the patients as they make a kaleidoscope pattern like a Busby Berkeley musical. The NURSES pirouette into the pattern then make a domino effect as they each place a pill on the patient’s tongues. The aerial camera spins down to one of the PATIENT’s open mouth, down the patient’s throat to darkness, ending this scene.
INT. SHLEEPITOV NURSING HOME REC ROOM – FLASHBACK CONTINUED
Flashback/Reality: The band is set up and ready to play in front of the ELDERLY PATIENTS. Bertha walks up to the mic.
BERTHA:
Hi! We’re HotPhlash. We were hot in the 80′s …but now we’re just hot all time!
Here is our new song WASTED YOUTH.
The band cranks into a punk song.
BERTHA:
(Singing)
Wasted Youth
What’s the use
Of trying to be young
When your already done
For the night
Can’t walk, can’t talk
Lost my money
Lost my last tooth
My wasted youth
TWO OLD LADY PATIENTS look at each other.
OLD LADY PATIENT #1:
I can’t hear them. I wish they’d turn it up.
OLD LADY PATIENT #2:
What’d ya say?
Old lady patient #2′s dentures then fall out and she puts them back in.
© 2010 Dorothy Caldwell and Paula Montondo
Can Mermaids get menopause in space? Also can I join your band? Do you need a lead mermaid?
Yes but when mermaids go thru the “change” they don’t have to worry about dried up va-jay-jays….uhhhhh think about it
Yes, you can join our band but, you have bring your own aquarium and we are not responsible for any kitty cat stalkers.
OMFG, this is the COOLEST BLOG ever!!!!! You BeeYatches rock the fuck outta tha house, man! Can’t wait to find out what the fuck else Zelda and Bertha are up to!
I like your name. I agree, it is refreshing to see these woman empowered and still feeling strong enough to rock. Can’t wait to see this in TV form.
Beth
Unquestionably AND Indubitably, ma’am
I totally concur with your observations.
Thanks! Keep coming back to see more of Zelda’s and Bertha’s menopausal craziness! We are posting each week.