HotPhlash

(Continued from Scene 11 Episode 1 or start at the beginning)

INT. BANANA HAMMOCK DRESSING ROOM – BACK TO REALITY – LATER THAT NIGHT

Bertha is now in the middle of a conversation with STRIPPER BOB. Zelda, Carolyn and Shithead walk in.

BERTHA:
No, I think we should do it in the back room.
We’ll have more privacy.

STRIPPER BOB:
Well, let’s do it right now. I’m known to be pretty quick.
I’ll be done before you know it.

BERTHA:
Let’s do it after the show, that way you can take it
nice and slow and do it right.
I want the good treatment.

STRIPPER BOB:
Better yet, why don’t you come over
my house tomorrow and we can
make a day of it and do it all!

BERTHA:
Baby, you got yourself a date.

STRIPPER BOB:
Great, tomorrow at noon?

Bertha gives the thumbs up. Bob walks off.

ZELDA:
(sarcastic and judgmental)
Well, someone makes friends easily.
Why don’t you just cozy up with the whole club then!

BERTHA:
Ok, Ms. free spirit, peace and love all your neighbors.
I can hang out with who I want. You don’t own me!

CAROLYN:
(to Zelda )
Well, you’re known for spreading your love,
but Bertha’s known for spreading her…

SHITHEAD:
Can you all just shut your pie holes!

BERTHA:
Excuse me? Was anyone even talking to you?
If you’re not careful, I’ll kick you out of this band!

SHITHEAD:
Hey I’ll leave before I put up with all this crap.
Why don’t you at least act my shoe size!

BERTHA:
Shoe size? That’s it I’ve had it!
You are out of here and I quit!
I don’t need this dung.

SHITHEAD:
Fine! I am out of here!

CAROLYN:
(chuckling)
Well, it looks like the dung just hit the ol’ A/C.

ZELDA:
Now, wait guys! Stop it.
Don’t you remember why we’re doing this in the first place?
We got this band back together so we could feel
alive again, have fun again, do what we love the most,
play rock and roll together again.

EXT. SKY – DAY – FANTASY SEQUENCE

Patriotic music fades in. A sunny sky appears behind Zelda. Her hair starts to blow in the wind. She places her hand on her heart. A HotPhlash banner flag waves in the breeze behind her. She gazes up at the sky as she starts her speech.

ZELDA:
It’s the music, the rock and roll, our love for each other,
the band, we…are…one.
With HotPhlash, we are young again and strong
and we are fulfilling our vision,
like when we were young and could actually see better.
With HotPhlash we are being the rock stars that we,
in our souls, know that we are. They can’t take that away from us
as long as we are together.
We are HotPhlash!

EXT. BACK PARKING LOT OF BANANA HAMMOCK – DAY – BACK TO REALITY

The scene comes to a screeching halt (tire screech sound). The door out to the parking lot opens and Bertha leans out of it and hollers.

BERTHA:
Uh…Zelda?

Zelda is standing on top of a car in the parking lot with her hand on her heart and the other held to out to the sky. She stops and turns to look in Bertha’s direction.

© 2010 Dorothy Caldwell and Paula Montondo

Tags: 80’s, baby boomer, banana hammock, Bertha, Bubba, bucksnort, dorothy caldwell, ereckteus, hilarious, hot flash, hot flashes, HotPhlash, Led Zepplin, male stripper, masochist, menopause, mid-life, montondo, mood swings, night sweats, older women, osbourne, ozzy, paula montondo, punk, rocknroll, script, shithead, sitcom, stripper, Zelda