(Continued from Scene 13 or start at the beginning)
INT. BERTHA’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Bubba comes in the kitchen with flowers, wine and some groceries. Bertha and Bubba’s daughter, Paine, is at the kitchen table.
BUBBA:
I got a surprise for Mother’s Day. I want to get this set up before she gets home.
When do you expect your mother?
PAINE:
She’s not coming home tonight. She has a gig at The Banana Hammock.
BUBBA:
What? It’s Mother’s Day and she’s spending it with a bunch of naked men
!That’s it! I’m going over there.
He storms out of the kitchen. Paine gets up and follows him.
PAINE:
I’m coming with you.
INT. BANANA HAMMOCK SHOW ROOM – EVENING
The stage has a large banner across it that says “Happy Mother’s Day!” and the room is decorated for Mother’s Day.
M.C. OF BANANA HAMMOCK:
Ok, all you mothers! Happy Mother’s Day! We have got a great night ahead.
So daughters buy your mother a lap dance.
You can also buy her the three for one.
Nothing says I love you Mom like a three for one
Banana Split Lap Dance Special!
The M.C. welcomes TWIN BLONDE MALE STRIPPERS dressed like bananas squirting whipped cream on themselves. The M.C. then welcomes a LARGE BLACK MALE STRIPPER onto the stage. The stripper is wearing boxer shorts with the words BOXA CHOKLETTS printed on them.
M.C. OF BANANA HAMMOCK:
Or you can buy your mother a box of chocolates.
With Mister Boxa Chokletts, you know what you’re gonna get!
The M.C. then welcomes out TWO AMERICAN INDIAN MALE STRIPPERS dressed in traditional American Indian outfits.
M.C. OF BANANA HAMMOCK:
Or you can win our grand prize drawing. Dances with Laps!
The AUDIENCE goes wild as all the strippers walk out into the crowd.
M.C. OF BANANA HAMMOCK:
But tonight ladies and gentlemen for the main event,
we bring you HotPhlash, brought to you
by our proud sponsors, Ooopsy’s; The adult diaper.
Just wet it and forget it.
And also the top deodorant brand,
Suddenly Wet; We love you when you’re all dried up.
As the audience applauds, the stage curtains open and HotPhlash begins to play the Ooopsy’s jingle.
BERTHA:
(singing 50′s jingle’s style)
Ooopsy doopsy
Whether you pee or poopsy
Just wet and forget it
Ooopsy’s there for youuuuuuu
The band plays while TEN MALE STRIPPERS come out on stage in business suits, carrying brief cases. They rip off their suits and are left wearing only diapers. Their brief cases pop open and Ooopsy’s diapers fall out and they throw them to the audience. The song ends. Bertha gets on the mic.
© 2010 Dorothy Caldwell and Paula Montondo
