HotPhlash Characters

Bertha Tubbs:

Lead singer and guitar player of HotPhlash, life-long best friend of Zelda, the drummer. She is small in stature, menopausal ex-punk rocker who drinks and smokes, is tough but has a heart of gold and is not afraid to speak her mind. Happily married and has a teenaged daughter. Third generation dominatrix and children’s author with a best selling children’s book called “Bad Boys Get Spanked”.

Zelda Piewinkle:

Drummer of HotPhlash and is the life-long best friend of Bertha, lead singer and guitar player. Vegetarian, new-age, ex-punk rocker in menopause, still has tattoos. Goes with the flow, blonde dingbat, too trusting and annoyingly optimistic, sees the best in everyone. Pet psychic and paw reader. She has twins in their early 20′s: a boy and a girl, both gay. Divorced from a multi-millionaire, but does not accept alimony so she just gets by living in an old bungalow.

Carolyn Manson:

HotPhlash’s keyboard player, their original band member from their 1980′s punk band is an arrogant, aloof, egotistical, delusional, pill popping, psychotic, paranoid schizophrenic, bitch, (but the band likes her). She is a patient at the Lues Scroughs (pronounced Loose Screws with French accent) Mental Institution. They let her out on the weekends to play with HotPhlash only if she wears her house arrest ankle bracelet and is chaperoned by her 70 year old, chain-smoking, hard-drinking psych nurse with the base station for the bracelet.

Shithead (“sha-theed”) DuMass Tu Can Chu:

The new bass player for HotPhlash is a very large, fun-loving, boisterous, African American woman born in Minnesota with a very strong Minnesota accent and was raised by a Chinese American family, who are all under five foot tall. She is also going through menopause but is incredibly kind and has an insatiable appetite for food and very small men. A “Glamboyant” dresser with over-the-top hairdos and loud colored clothes, oh so bright they hurt your eyes and way too tight for her size, and often mistaken for a drag queen.